My Love and I put some thousand miles on the car over the holiday weekend. His father is quite ill, and naturally his mother is greatly distressed. There is little enough we are able to do - except to show up when we can manage it and be as supportive as possible from a distance.
The great sorrow here is not just that his father is ill, but that he is changed by his illness, the drugs, the pain. A warm, gentle man known for his willingness to help any neighbor in need has been cruelly transformed in the twilight of his life, so that those who love him are already deprived of his company - even though he is physically still of this world. He lashes out in confusion and anger at those who love him best - and loving him is all we can do.
Will this be us in twenty years? Life is unfair. Certainly this good man does not deserve this end. All that is left to us is continuing to live so that whatever befalls us, we will - at least - not deserve such an end either.
