Honeyed Hypocorisms

Ten Years together

2011-01-24T07:00:00.007-05:00

Ten years ago today, a weary, wandering prince arrived on my doorstep and my life changed. Through all the events of the past decade, this is the one event that has created the deepest ripples and made me truly feel I was finally living my youthful dreams. I love you, dear!

Updates

2010-04-24T11:47:00.003-04:00

Yeesh! I really am not doing all that well with this am I? I suppose that discontent or longing stimulates more incentive to write than contentment - yeah, I'll use that as an excuse. None-the-less, this is to mark nine years together and eight married! I love you my dDear!

Astonishingly, several someones found this blog sometime in the past year and even COMMENTED. Wow! (and - just in case you ever come back - thank you!)

One of those commenters found my tale to be unbelievable, but dear person, I assure you that it happened just that way. I gather you must have some deep disappointment in romance in your life/past to feel that way - and I am all too familiar with that feeling and ache for you and anyone without the right partner. Just before my Sweet Babboo reappeared in my life, I was in a deep, dark funk and feeling desperately Lonely. Point? Don't give up. It can take a lot longer than you would like/wish/hope, but as long as you don't close yourself off to potential, the Love of Your Life could be just around the corner.

A modern day fairytale

2009-04-10T07:00:00.003-04:00

A modern day fairytale...

Waaaaaay back in the early '80s, in a southern city, She was an avid reader who discovered a great little bookstore near her favorite grocery. She made weekly trips to this store, not just due to her voracious reading habit, but also because of The Cute Guy who worked there...

- Here we come to a point of dispute: SHE maintains, that she screwed up her courage and asked Him if he wanted to have lunch or something. Meanwhile HE distinctly remembers getting her phone number off one of her checks and asking Her out. Both parties have agreed that this will be an agreeable subject for a friendly argument while watching sunsets from a retirement home porch somewhere, and so we will just have to say that they did indeed have several very enjoyable dates. -

However, He was feeling restless and departed for Colorado for a new start. She was busy where she was, and besides, they had not gone beyond casual dating. Eventually She too, developed a wanderlust. The next year He returned to town in time to wave goodbye as She headed for California.

Skip to 1996. They are on opposite sides of the country all contact has been lost. He decides one day to see if he can find Her via the wonder of the internet - and miraculously turns up an email address. They carry on a friendly, but intermittant and casual correspondance until late 2000, when having hit a crossroads in His life, he decides to make a pilgrimage to the grave of his hero - which happens to be in California. He writes asking if he may visit. She is feeling depressed and thinks a visit would be terrific.

So in late January 2001, a road-weary soul arrives on Her doorstep... He stayed two weeks.

Something clicked. Something worked. Something felt RIGHT. Still it did not dawn on either of them until he left to drive east, that there was something more lasting between them than they had expected. Within two weeks of His leaving, it was decided that He would simply have to come back and move in.

In April He came back.

The following April, they married. They have weathered job layoffs, major surgery, disability, a 3000 mile move, death of a loved pet, and assorted daily problems familiar to most people. They address each other only in the most loving terms; start and end every day with a cuddle; and are deeply grateful to have each other as best friends, lovers and mates.

I love my card!

2009-02-27T20:22:00.003-05:00

I received two really wonderful cards for my birthday this week. One was from The Love of My Life, who had - as usual - somehow found The One Perfect Card out of all the mostly drab or stupid commercial choices out there. The second was from my seven year old niece. The picture is of the card inside. Her phrase is so inventive! That one will stay with me for a good while. I love you too, Miss T!

The Love of My Life is my Best Friend

2009-02-14T13:48:00.002-05:00

Happy Valentine's Day to My Sweet Babboo! If I were to spend the rest of my life looking, I could not have found anyone to be a better fit for me. I love you!

Contentment makes for lousy inspiration

2009-01-25T11:13:00.004-05:00

Funny thing happens, when you have found the love of your life and are in a stable, joyous relationship - you don't have as much to say on the topic of love as you might think. I mean, one doesn't normally write at length about breathing, unless there is a problem with doing it.

So, if you have been dropping by, don't look for any changes in my posting pattern - short of my being inspired, or finding a new Hypocorism.

Furred Love

2008-04-27T21:13:00.000-04:00

"Think Positive" does work!

2008-03-27T18:14:00.003-04:00

Apparently it at least is possible to improve one's attitude - actually making changes in the brain! I just spotted this article in US News & World Report which reports on research apparently showing that meditating on the positive can produce changes in the area of the brain in charge of empathy.

Now if we can just get some of those extremists to try this...

Love and Disappointment

2008-03-21T08:37:00.003-04:00

One of the harder things in everyday life is coping with the disappointments of a loved one. My Most Loved One had some life-altering, disappointing news a few weeks ago and - not surprisingly - was in a real funk for several days.

I was helpless. If he is unhappy, I am unhappy but powerless to employ any of my own tricks for getting myself out of a funk. I simply had to wait for him to work his way through it on his own, while trying to avoid 'helping' by being either too solicitous or too cheerful. I found myself channeling my frustration at being unable to do anything to help him into maintaining a zen-like attitude for myself. I was so occupied with doing that, I did not have a chance to be too depressed by the actual disappointment.

As expected, this too did pass. He has regained his own balance. We are back on the track of exploring practical options to deal with changed expectations. Our lives not any less perfect than they were, we just have an altered set of circumstances within which to find our happiness.

Valentines Day

2008-02-13T07:08:00.001-05:00

So. I have proven to be a pretty lax blogger - certainly insofar as regular updates are concerned. Excuses of medical issues, heavy work schedule and the like, seem pretty paltry when considering that it is only writing a paragraph or two, but it can be astonishingly difficult to put coherent (or worthwhile) words together when tired, or sick or sad - and we have had our share of those over the past several months.

However, I cannot let Valentine's Day slip by without an entry.

You see I am crazy-in-love with my husband. We have now been together for seven years - married for six - and he is still my best friend, dearest companion, lover and center of my life. I delight in every day spent in his company. I think my only complaint is that I no longer find male bashing jokes as funny - because none of them apply to My Sweet Babboo!

Our happiness is a sweet, everyday sort of happiness, a delight in small things - a bit of music; something amusing the cat did, meeting with friends, a hawk in the sky - all magnified by being shared. Even the stress involved in coping with the fact of aging, ailing parents is made bearable because we have each other.

Mind you, there is passion there still as well - not a flaring, burning sort, but the deep, hot, enduring kind, the kind that wells up from deep inside and warms you at unexpected times.

I love you, My Dear. I can never say it enough.

Love in the Time of Stress

2007-09-05T21:55:00.000-04:00

My Love and I put some thousand miles on the car over the holiday weekend. His father is quite ill, and naturally his mother is greatly distressed. There is little enough we are able to do - except to show up when we can manage it and be as supportive as possible from a distance.

The great sorrow here is not just that his father is ill, but that he is changed by his illness, the drugs, the pain. A warm, gentle man known for his willingness to help any neighbor in need has been cruelly transformed in the twilight of his life, so that those who love him are already deprived of his company - even though he is physically still of this world. He lashes out in confusion and anger at those who love him best - and loving him is all we can do.

Will this be us in twenty years? Life is unfair. Certainly this good man does not deserve this end. All that is left to us is continuing to live so that whatever befalls us, we will - at least - not deserve such an end either.

It canNOT be almost the end of the month...

2007-08-27T15:15:00.000-04:00

... and I have not posted since the 2nd! Yikes!

Well, there WAS a whole week at the beach in there. I find I have little motivation to pay attention to gadgets when I can be sitting on the sand with a cold drink at hand, silly nieces running around, a good book to read when not otherwise distracted, and, well - you get the idea. The interlude did The L.o.M.L. (Love of My Life) and me no end of good - even if we did get a little bit singed despite precautions!

I *will* improve at this! Promise!

Everyday Life Sharing

2007-08-02T09:34:00.000-04:00

Morning reading/slurping caffeine/getting the day going time - The Love of My Life in his office, I in mine, but easy speaking distance apart: How lovely to ease into the day, each of us pursuing our own topics, but calling out details of items we find of interest to the other. It is as pleasurable to find a tidbit we know will delight the other as it is to find one of our own items - simply for the joy of sharing. Best of all are the ones of shared interest.

"Grief can take care of itself; but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with." Mark Twain

Sleepy Saturday

2007-07-28T09:24:00.000-04:00

There is nothing much better in life than waking slowly on a Saturday morning - with few chores ahead of you - to the sound of a (much needed) soft rain. It IS improved, however, when your Love rolls over, wraps an arm over you and gives you a warm, cuddly spoon. Snuggle Bear!

Insane world made sane..

2007-07-16T08:58:00.000-04:00

It is Monday morning. Bleah. Time to work. Bleah. The news is all Iraq and Al Quaida and depressing stuff (at least Paris Hilton is no longer the Hot Topic du Jour! - for now!). More personal concerns about families and finances dance in my head. Then, The Love of My Life comes in and give me a long, warm hug (and kisses, don't forget the kisses!), and somehow The World seems possible to handle again.

Real life and updating

2007-07-07T08:57:00.000-04:00

How much can anyone really have to say on a given topic? I haven't had much time this week to work on this. Not that it much matters as I don't believe anyone in the wider world has stumbled on this effort as yet - but all my prior efforts at keeping a journal or diary have started off with a bang because I had something that HAD to be shared and then quickly collapsed as I ran out of things to say on a day to day basis. With this, I am going to focus on once a week - well, that's the goal!

I suppose the ideal thing to do would be to collect at least one new hypocorism each week and talk about that, but that will have to start next week, because, well, I just don't have one this week!

A beginning

2007-06-30T18:49:00.000-04:00

Greetings and thank you for visiting.

When my (now) husband and I were doing most of our communication online - much of it via instant message - we took particular delight in greeting each other every time with a different pet name. He is exceptionally creative with words, but I went seeking help on the internet - hoping for a list from which to draw inspiration (or to simply lift a term on a particularly dullwitted day!). I did not find one, so I started my own.

I would love to add to the list - please tell me about your favorite pet names and stories of love. This is a place to be positive. Nastiness will be removed.

This project is still in the early stages, so you may find many changes if you re-visit sooner rather than later.